In 2054, the vast majority of the human population will own and control a robotic surrogate to interact with the world while staying remote and safe at home. With the first violent crime in years, two FBI agents (Bruce Willis and Radha Mitchell) are on the investigation. Surrogates sets up some interesting “what if” questions about our own society that lives anonymously online and engages in virtual worlds such as Second Life and World of Warcraft. At 89 minutes (with opening and closing credits), Willis, along with supporting actors Ving Rhames and James Cromwell, keep the fast-paced movie certainly watchable until it all comes crashing down at one of the most ridiculous and selfish endings I have ever seen.
Posts Tagged Action
Surrogates
Feb 13
The International
Feb 13
Released during the worst banking industry crisis in American history, The International tells the story of the IBBC, an international bank engaged in terrorism and arms dealing, and the Interpol agent (Clive Owen) and Manhattan Assistant DA (Naomi Watts) who team up to take it down. My problem isn’t the overused clichés (evil bank run by a group of shadowy white men, constant scenery jumps from country to country), it’s that the movie is just overly dull. Having said that, the middle of the movie randomly features one of the most preposterous and absurd shootouts I’ve ever seen. For a moment I thought I accidentally hit my remote and popped in a different movie. Recommended to avoid.
Babylon A.D.
Jan 10
Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh continue to squander their potential by starring in this nonsensical jumble of science fiction about a grizzled mercenary hired to smuggle a girl from a Central Asian convent into New York in the near and dystopian future. Babylon A.D. is aggressively worthless Even those seeking a quick fix of scifi and action will have even the lowest of expectations squashed. It is an astonishingly vague and joyless movie with a monotone script that feels like filler, intended to be inserted into a better movie. What little action there was is uninspired and lackluster. There are no jokes of any kind. There are no interesting characters, intriguing moments or clear motivations. I generally understand that the movie had something to do with saving the world, but honestly could not tell you if the world was successfully saved or not. My 90 minutes, I can tell you, are lost and gone forever.
Sherlock Holmes
Jan 1
Sherlock suffers from the delusion that if you squint hard enough, its titular literary character kinda-sorta resembles the Tony Stark of Scotland Yard. The result is an impotently indecisive movie: cowardly with its desperate overseasoning of the fiction with non-sequitur martial arts and love interests, but too talky and long (2.5 hours) to be proper popcorn. I won’t praise Robert Downey Jr.’s quirky performance as Holmes because I’ve seen him (and Johnny Depp) play this part a million times already. And everyone else is boring and forgettable.
The story is the expected hackwork involving secret societies bent on vague world domination. Those looking for a clever mystery should flee. Instead of proper clues, twists or solutions, Sherlock hides behind the lazy and arcane trivium straight out of 1960’s Batman. That plant produces a little-known toxin, don’t you know?
Sherlock is not offensively bad. But it is such a wasted opportunity that it is offensively average.
too saddled with weak, desperate attempts to “spice up” the fiction with irritatingly non-sequitur martial arts and love interests to be much good.
Ninja Assassin
Jan 1
A promising young ninja seeks to expose the crimes of his ancient clan while avoiding (actually, chopping up) those sent to stop him. The story is brief and passable, with any narrative cracks washed away in buckets of ninja blood. There is a very simple litmus test of how one will receive Ninja Assassin: Do extended fights between ultra-violent ninja sound awesome to you? If so, Ninja Assassin deserves your time. If not, what are you doing here? This website is not for you.
Wonder Woman
Jan 1
New entries in Bruce Timm’s take on the DC Comics Universe keep coming at a regular clip, even if their quality is a bit spotty. Wonder Woman retells the origin story of its eponymous star-spangled amazon with respectable results. WW is beautifully animated and the action retains the impact to which Timm fans have become accustomed. As with most DC direct-to-video, Wonder Woman wrestles with a claustrophobic run-time, leaving precious little time for characterization and a bit too much time for punches and kicks. Once again, see it if you’re a fan, but it will not convert you otherwise.
A live action version of the cartoon, G.I. Joe feels depressingly like a love letter to Michael Bay. You know the drill, soldier: All shots of women start with the feet and pan up; One of the Wayans plays “the black guy” (except the other black guy); And there are merciless winking references to the animated series.
Make no mistake: G.I. Joe is bad, even painful. Still, in comparison to that other cartoon adaptation from Summer 2009, G.I. Joe is at least watchable. The action is surprisingly kinetic in most scenes (though the effects are startlingly inconsistent, as if the budget was slashed unexpectedly) and it is restrained enough to end before the 2 hour mark. If you must sink this low, it is better to watch this one than that one. My recommendation would be to watch neither.
Avatar (Real-D 3-D)
Jan 1
James Cameron directs an ambitious science fiction epic about human efforts to wrest mineral-rich deposits from the tribal denizens of a jungle planet, called Pandora. Critics of Avatar will note that its ambitions are limited to its visuals and that the story never diverges from its archetypal roots: there is an earnest human soldier and a fierce warrior princess; there is an aggro human general for whom explosives solve all conflict; and there are “spirit trees.” Strictly speaking, the criticism is not misplaced: every beat of the story can be predicted by anyone paying marginal attention, and the characterizations are paper thin.
But while we have seen this story before, we have never seen it like this. Avatar depicts Pandora with an unprecedented level of visual richness; it never feels like a slapdash of expensive computer-generated effects. Go see Avatar because it feels like being transported; you will not to see anything like it for years to come.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Jan 1
Apparently disatisfied with the overly exhaustive treatment of Wolverine in the last three X-Men movies, Wolverine presents the title character’s origin story, with Hugh Jackman returning to don the adamantium claws.
Much like the most recent X-Men Movie (Last Stand), Wolverine manages to be more whimsical and entertaining than Bryan Singer’s oppressively boring X-Men films, but is nonetheless mind-numbingly dumb. The plot contorts itself into a nonsensical tangle of “twists,” ornamented with a relentless parade of unecessary cameos, each desperately praying for their own spin-off.
More fundamentally, it makes little sense to give Wolverine (a character conceived to be shrouded in mystery) an exhaustive origin story. The result is a somewhat incompetent execution of a movie that no one really asked for. Skippable unless you really must turn your brain off for an evening.
Hulk Vs. (2009)
Oct 25
Marvel continues its direct-to-video insurgence with a slightly different approach in “Hulk Vs.” Instead of a single full-length feature Hulk Vs. includes two short features, with Thor and Wolverine respectively. Hulk fans should not be misled by the title–the Hulk operates more as a setting for his counterpart than a per se character. Both features are very superficial, focusing more on satisfying action and humor than a clever or unique story. Still, Hulk Vs. is surprisingly entertaining. The Wolverine feature is particularly funny, and the fights are well choreographed without exception. Comic book fans should enjoy it.